I know my gimmick here is to title every post in the format “thots on __” but I think let’s switch it up every so often lest it gets played out, eh?
Like many of us living in Joe Brandon’s America, I often find myself frustrated at the seemingly arbitrary yet steadily rising Cost of Things. Whether it’s due to “inflation” or businesses using inflation as an excuse to jack up the prices, I can’t say. But I simply don’t have a grip on what things should cost anymore. The pizza principle is a bygone metric, and any personal indexes I used to live by [Sugar Ray voice] have gone out the window. I feel like I should be making more econ puns here but I’m writing this on an empty stomach (not because I can’t afford lunch, I just planned poorly so far today lol) so, depending on how you feel about puns, I’m sorry, or, you’re welcome.
Here are some recent price tags that made me cry, throw up my hands, rant and rave, boycott, sigh deeply, briefly dissociate, or have to lie down. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression…but never acceptance. My best bet is eventual ignorance—I can only hope that in time I’ll forget what things used to cost so I’ll no longer mourn the broke old days.
$9 beers at [redacted]
I don’t want to name names, but a neighborhood bar I used to frequent no longer offers any beers below $9. I think this change was implemented post-pandemic, but for me, it makes drinking there untenable. I really don’t get bars that don’t offer at least one option for $5 or under. Like, keep your pricey pours on the menu if you must, but throw us one (1) bone. We are all struggling.
$25 for my dog’s crunchies
I think I was hormonal that day or something but after I paid 25 bones for one 4lb bag of dog kibble I cried a little on the sidewalk. My dog eats Natural Balance (a bit fancy, yes, but the bitch has lived to 13.5 and is still trucking, so) which usually runs me between $15 and $17 at my neighborhood pet store; this was a Greenpoint shop and the guy said the company had recently upped their prices. Again, I don’t know, but I probably won’t shop there again.
$8.50 for turkey on a roll at the bodega
Just, what? This left me speechless. When did this happen? If a sandwich on a roll costs $8.50 how much are y’all ponying up for a hero? I’m afraid to ask.
$20-$25 for a bang trim
As a chronic bangs-haver I have been following the bang-trim index over the years. Used to be, you’d get one complimentary bang trim per haircut (meaning, if you came in within a few months of getting your haircut there, they’d clean up your forehairs, free of charge, and of course you’d tip). The salon I go to discontinued that perk at some point, which, fine, I get it. After that, I can’t remember how much it cost (see, this is good! I’m forgetting!) but when they raised the price to $15, that took some getting used to. I was just coming around to accepting $15 as the new normal for bang trims when I went to book an appointment this week and saw that the stylists now charge $20-$25. Now I reallllllly don’t want to go back to cutting my own, because emotionally it reminds me of the Deep Pandemic, and also, I’m not very good at it. One time I even cut my eyebrow on accident and until it grew back I looked like those cool kids that rock an eyebrow slit for fashion. So, no thank you. The professionals make me look sharp and I oughta pay them whatever they ask for, tbh. Will I cave and pay the $20+? Right now I’m doing the side swoop to cope but its days are numbered.
$158 to see boygenius at Forest Hills stadium this summer
I am surprised I gave in and paid this much—for General Admission tickets, nonetheless. But my reasoning was: I really want to see boygenius again, who haven’t played since 2018; I want to go with my friends who are going; I’ve never been to Forest Hills so maybe this will be my one-and-done experience; this can be my one overpriced concert ticket for the year and THAT’S IT. Also Clairo and someone else I think are playing that day, so I guess it’s kind of like a mini festival? I know the treble-ous trio (sorry) won’t disappoint.
There have been more egregious upcharges of late but that’s enough to gripe about for now. I am lucky I can even sort of afford any of this absurdity today (meaning, I can pay for some of it without abstaining or, say, going into credit card debt, which would have been the case for me a few years back) but it seems excessive and also hard to make sense of.
MAY YOU ALL HAVE A SOMEWHAT REASONABLY-PRICED WEEKEND.